Walk Of Life -- Story of that one night

This story is of a guy , a guy who never knew what that one night had with it for him. Its the story of a guy who bid farewell to his love at the bus stop and was on his way back to his college and was unaware that the night was not going to be like any other night.

Its the story of surat city ,gujarat, story of a night when two people were there at the bus stop, half an hour ahead of scheduled time of the bus to spend some moments together before they were going to part off for the weekend , a weekend which the girl was going to spend away from the guy for whom she meant everything. The guy ,who was praying to God again and again for some more time, praying that what if the bus never shows up or wishing that even if it does ,make it as late as possible but to the dismay same was not the case for the girl. She was praying for the bus to come as early as possible but that day God wanted to grant the guy some more time with his beloved.So the bus kept on getting delayed and they spent two and half hours together at the bus stand waiting ,waiting for the two hour delayed bus,waiting with the guy staring with immense love at the girl who had fallen asleep in his arms for those two hours.

But finally the bus came and the guy said good bye with a heavy heart to the girl...girl ; who was happy to see the bus finally arriving and was totally unaware of what the guy felt in letting her go, unaware of how badly he wanted to stop her from getting on the bus because it was going to take her away from him for those two days.But the bus had to go and so it did , it went away taking someone's love with it.
And so the guy kept on standing at the same place for 10 mins after the bus quietly departed taking away his piece of heart with it and then began his journey ,his journey back to his hostel, his journey at 1 am in that moonless night and his journey with just 45 bucks with him to reach his hostel.

As the guy slowly started his walk away from the bus stand he realized that his friend has asked him to bring some cigarettes so out of those 45 bucks with him, he bought four cigarettes and lit one out of those four right there to relieve some anxiety, anxiety which he felt because of letting his beloved go away from him and then he took those 25 bucks and with the burning cigarette in his one hand he slowly moved to get an auto rickshaw. Since he didn't have sufficient money, he decided to do break journey and took one auto which dropped him to majura gate for 10 bucks.Now with 15 bucks in his pocket he waited for another auto to come. Time passed but no auto showed up and after waiting for ten minutes he started walking on the road , ghod dod road

Under the sky filled with countless stars but no moon he was slowly walking and didn't know it was going to be the most memorable walk of his life..
On his way from ghod dod to parle point he was al alone on the road with dead silence surrounding him which was only disturbed when a recklessly driven vehicle used to pass by him. With deeply engrossed in his thoughts suddenly some sounds distracted him . When he tried to figure out from where the sound came , he was filled with mixed feelings of shock and amazement... What he had in front of his eyes on the footpath was a poor couple making love under the very same moonless star studded sky. He couldn't believe his own eyes and was dumb struck and couldn't strike cords with the fact that the poor couple had no place but the corner of the road,the footpath, to make love.
With a stirred up heart and mind he kept on moving with the same pace and crossed them trying to show no reaction.Then after walking for few more minutes he saw a father screaming at her nude daughter and again this was the same footpath, footpath on which today he saw life, a different side of life. A side which was breathtaking and invigorating , a side which scared him by uncovering the crudeness of life.

Still the guy kept on walking at the same pace with confused thoughts occupying his mind and with curt moments of consciousness where he tried to stop every passing rickshaw but none stopped.Then he encountered something unexpected again ,watching a well dressed young man walking all alone on a road in the middle of night the dry state police enquired him if he was drunk or doped..twice came the patrolling squad but after listening to him twice he was allowed to go.

It had been more than half an hour but the guy kept on walking as he was not even half way close to his hostel. Then suddenly he realized that he was crossing the place where the girl has bought something for herself the very same evening.Her voice echoed in his ears and her face flashed right in front of his eyes but then he realized it was silence around him this time..the girl was not with him..and this very thought made the place look totally different to him.

It made him real awkward to see those same places that night..what all he had in his mind and heart was the thought of the girl , he could feel the touch of her hands and realized how terribly he was missing the girl , how miserable it felt to not have her by his side, how incomplete he was without that hand in his hands. Preoccupied by all these thoughts he finally came to the place where they used to have coffee and talk at lengths, the place which finally got him an auto and took him to his college in that dark cold night.

Finally now the guy was in his college, the college which again gave him the sense of security and relieved him of the worry that he was walking on a silent dark street at 2 am with no soul to be found as far as his eye could see.When he went inside the campus it was again a very new experience ,the campus was silent..unusually silent as because for some reason all the road lights were off .. he had never seen all lights off.. but they were this time..but still he didn't feel a thing and kept on moving..listening to the leaves whispering to each other and hearing the sound of wind playing with the leaves.
The guy was now calm but the night had one more surprise for him.After walking for few minutes the power was back and all road lights lit up and then his heart dipped as what he saw on the other side of road was a man wearing a shabby old piece of cloth with tousled and entangled long untidy hair covering his face and he was staring right at him and smiling.It was that psycho.

And that psycho was smiling, the psycho who was part of many stories told and heard in the campus. That psycho was right in front of his eyes and so once again the silence of the night broke the guy's confidence and scared him. He paced up and tried to ignore him and when that psycho disappeared in dark the guy took the final road to his hostel from canteen and bang...the psycho has disappeared just to come back once again..
this time that psycho was squatted on the ground at the very same place where the guy and the girl used to sit together and fight every moment after class on the most trivial issues .

But this time the psycho was expressionless..he was just blankly staring at the guy.

The guy felt his heartbeat increasing and realized that his mind has stopped working , with one fist tightly clenched he tried with other hand to reach his phone and call his friends ...but the guy forgot it was 15 august..his country's Independence day,a public holiday and while all the time he thought he was using his free balance to message the girl ,he was going more close to zero balance and when he dialed his friend's number , the service provider informed him of his balance and so was he informed that he had to handle this all alone . All this time he kept on moving at the same pace with the man's eyes glued to him ,but the psycho didn't move , not even an inch and the guy finally made it to his hostel...drank some water and came to his room...

ALL TIRED AND SHAKEN FROM INSIDE HE OPENED HIS LAPTOP AND WROTE OF THE NIGHT... THE WALK OF HIS LIFE ....THE STORY OF THAT NIGHT..

Love--how complicated or how simple

Its midnight when the thought of writing a post crossed my mind and call it; that the silence of night draws you closer to what you love so when  i had to choose a title, it couldn't be anything else other than love.
                         Love, i don't know what the word had with it for me but the thought of writing about it made me think about William Shakespeare .Shakespeare who expressed  his feelings about love in nearly all his literally works , be it  Romeo and Juliet ,Anthony and Cleopatra  or A midsummer night's dream and many more.All had love, true love ,honest love  and love as only pure lust.To be one person who have not read his work made it difficult for me to relate my opinion about love to that of  the poet .But suddenly  something caught  my attention , and that was a debateable work of the poet , a poem , a poem named , " A Lover's Complaint".A poem which expressed how naive love makes you .Poem had a young women  severely hurt  by her lover and she speaks of his lover's  hurtful acts and at the same time of his mesmerizing charms to an old man who asks the reason of her sorrow and then she concludes by admitting that she would go back to him regardless of all pain he caused to her, and that she would again fall for the young man's false charms.

                                             I read the poem , read it over and over , a number of times and then finally completed the title of the post. the title Love , Love which is complicated  or simple...love , is it the way  I see it or is it something which  i have never felt .Love , i  could never understand how it actually felt to be in love but yet at the same time fortunately or unfortunately fell in love a few times  and yet  still  happen to be unsure of the fact that each time was it  the real love?? was it that love  which is supposed to turn  the whole world beautiful for you and take away all your  worries ??? was it that love only  about which Shakespeare wrote ???

          I thought about it a lot and to my dismay i couldn't conclude that did i really  fell in true love ,, honest love or as to what Shakespeare wrote  was it just attraction or infatuation mistaken for love .Yet again my answer was not one out of yes and no  and then ,thinking that i am  mature enough, i tried to draw conclusions for all the times  when i " felt" i was in love,  but it  felt too complicated. Then one honest feeling crossed me.. feeling of  fact that in the quest of achieving true love,,i was always answering the one question  created by people,,,,created by me .. question which said that" is it true love or infatuation?"  and each time i was between two extremes pulling me towards them , pulling me to conclude and get on their side . And now when i look back  i wonder that in the tug the tender  relationship never got a say,, it never got a chance to grow, to bloom. And then with my one life and with my  one heart which had fallen in love few times i immaturely came to a point where i felt that may b each time the love i felt was the true love  ,may be i was lucky enough to  find  love so many times  and unlucky enough to be stuck in the same tug of war each time and each time concluding it to be infatuation  and continuing  the search of  true love... choosing to  wait for the day when i 'll be in true love. 

                     But in all this, the thing which i lost was the naivety of love , the naive love Shakespeare wrote of , which makes me also conclude the story  by saying that regardless of the pain caused i would again fall for the charms of the young man, the false charms of the lover, for my naive love i would again fall for the lover who pursued me ,loved me ,abandoned me.

            

footsteps

At times in life,it happens that what all you can manage is walking parallel to someone and yet not be with that one. Each time i saw these traces i used to think what could make these parallel paths meet..and then i realized ,that parallel lines dont meet but the two walking on them just have to hold hands...hold hands to make the two lines meet.

once...

Its strange how things change ...how u chng.. once wn u nva cared abt nythin.. onc wn u wr nva serious of nythin.. and now thr is one more onc...onc wn u sit in a room alone and you are mor blank thn white snow.. wn without intendin u write strange custom msgs on gtalk tryin to put ur feelings in word.. onc wn u blankly stare at the list of online ppl.. onc when u do everythin wrong..and feel tht how can you be in such a huge mess.. once when you feel tht u r unluckiest of all. once when it seems tht no one understnds you and when evryone seems to b either lecturing you or not bothered of you..onc wn u feel tht is this wt u r supposed to feel???..once when you miss the time when wat all you were bothered of was to find a bag matching with your stilettos.. onc ws time when you used to sit wth your frnd in an alley smoking cigarette and feelin tht why everythin is so wrong in ur life.. though wn now u think of tht day u feel tht it was so trivial wht made u thn so sad .. and thn u feel.. tht thr'll b agn one more onc wn u'll b feelin tht wat seems to b so disastrous today ws as trivial as rest... when onc.. u'll b agn smilin... when u'll have lot to speak of.. onc when your phone will not b lying in next room but when you'll again be up late night fightin on a call for a trivial issue ..and texting all the time...when you'll once agn fight over next tequila shot or cigarette ..wn once agn u'll fall in love and feel that everything around you is so beautiful..onc agn wn u'll b smilin and feel happy... once agn you'll not be so sad..you'll again be only worried tht u haven't visited the recently inaugurated restaurant or u hvnt shopped from last 15 days.. and once agn u'll be only bothered about buyin the new dress you saw in Vouge ... once..once again...